Matthew Brian Cohen




I’m a writer. I also produce, direct, edit podcasts, and a whole bunch of other stuff. You can see my professional portfolio at

Please read my latest book of short fiction and personal essays A Stupid Way To Die For No Reason At All.

I’m currently a co-creator and writer for Functionally Dead, a leftist comedy zine.

I write, perform, and direct at the Upright Citizens’ Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, and formerly New York.

I have written for SNL’s Weekend Update, The Onion News Network, and the shows Epic How To, Honest Trailers, Honest Game Trailers, Blissful Thinking, and others. My writing has appeared in McSweeney’s, The Onion, College Humor, Newegg, Splitsider, Trop Magazine, and other places.

I also wrote a short story collection called Nein Stories that I released for free.

I co-created and ran a humor magazine called Janice, which put out two print issues and regularly updated with online content for years.

You can listen to my finished serialized fiction comedy podcast, ScaryTown, on Apple Podcasts or on Anchor. You can also listen to This Podcast Is Brought To You By, a short-lived but (in my opinion) very funny improvised comedy podcast on Anchor.

I used to have a comedy podcast called Lifescrapers: Tall Stories of American Lives. You can download a torrent of the entire archives here. If you need this torrent seeded for whatever reason, email me! Alternatively, here’s a Google Drive link


Latest Post

Mar 2, 2023

Ben Stein, Wokeness, and The Conservative Mind

The Republican party is obsessed with wokeness; the woke mind virus has made us all trans, the military is too woke, but also, we’re so woke we don’t love the military enough. But unlike the chum the GOP normally throws out to rile up the base (“illegal” immigration, Christian values), it feels like Republican leadership actually believes this stuff–or has been replaced by true believers. I’m less interested in dummies like Marjorie Taylor Greene’s views on wokeness–she’s been mainlining QAnon and Fox News for so long, there’s no coherent ideology there (beyond “I want to do whatever I want and crush my enemies into dust”). Read more
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